Parenting Part Two:

This past week I attended my grandson's third birthday. I did it not just to honor him but also to honor my daughter, whom I dearly love. We got in the car and drove five hours to get there. In fact, in two weeks from now my wife and I are going to make a drastic lifestyle change and move all our household goods, our animals, and ourselves to a new home near my daughter and my grandson. Some may say this is a great sacrifice but I look at it as another stage in the parenting process. We wish to spend our last years near this important part of our family.

As an educator I often did not witness firsthand the sacrifice that good parents made. I knew they were there, but I did not always see them. Many a parent gives up a big part of their life to make money so that their children can have more things. Sometimes they buy it when they don't have the money. That is bad parenting because down the line there will be payback. I think we are in a 'NOW' society where young people want immediacy. What I mean by this is they see so much on TV that others have and they just want more. That kind of thinking got America in the trouble we are in now. It's hard to say 'no' to your children but if you want to be a good parent then you have to sit them down and explain to them that there is only so much money and the realities and follies of credit buying and debt.

There is also a difference in sacrificing so that your children can have material things and sacrificing so that the family can be 'more together, and the children can get more learning experiences. Let me give you an example. Is an 'I-phone' a true learning experience? Is a PSP anything more than a glorified baby sitter? But is a day a the zoo, or at a musuem a more valuable learning experience. I say "YES"! Is sending them to Six Flags a better learning experience than going on a family vacation where they see different parts of the state, or the country or if you have the time and money, the world. I say "NO"!

How do we get parents to make those changes? I know that many of my Gifted children I taught went to the zoo, museums, family trips etc. when they were younger and that contributed to their giftedness. This parental nurturing versus the nature of a mindset of 'give them everything' will take a drastic mindset change. I think schools should have 'mandatory' inservices for parents on this subject. There should be fairs set up where zoos, museums etc. are brought in to educate the parents on these opportunities where the parents' money is well spent. Especially in this day when field trips are a no-no except for special programs, then bring the field trips to the school. The return the school would get back from such a partnership would be multi-faceted. The enhancement of learning for all intelligence groups would be highly beneficial to not only the student but also for the educator and the district. I guarantee that the 'dreaded' test scores will improve. Parents, this approach will save you money and at the same time also strengthen the bond between you and your child.

At the same time as parents need to make a mindset change so do their children. Their values have to take an about face. Many a time I've seen a child who has 'free lunch' come to school with a brand new pair of $100 plus Nikes. Often it is because the child has demanded it. Your parents aren't goldmines and you do not have the right to have an ATM card on you from the 'Bank of Parent'. Earn your money. I'm speaking from experience when I implore you to learn the value of money, get a part time job, open your own bank account and be accountable to yourself for those extras. The best thing my mother did for me was when I got my first job at age ten, she took me down to the bank and we opened an account. She told me to spend a portion of it and save the rest. What a lifetime learning experience. Don't drain your parents. Contribute. It will highly beneficial when you get to be a parent yourself.

Parenting Part One:

The other day when I was riding my bike on a back road near Boerne, Tx. I came across a tremendous example of parenting. I saw a deer jump a fence and run across in front of my bike. I glanced over to my right and saw three or four other deer standing next to the fence. A car was approaching from the other direction and I said to myself and aloud at the same time, "Don't you other deer run across the road now or I'll be looking at some roadkill". They didn't move but stood there looking at the bottom of the fence. I glanced back and I saw a baby deer or 'Bambi' as my wife would have called it with it's right hind leg caught in the fence dangling helplessly from the fence and wailing in pain. I dismounted my bike and ran over to the fence. The other deer ran off into the field and I watched them circle in the field and effortlessly launch themselves over the fence about a hundred yards down the road. As I got closer to the baby deer I saw that it's leg was indeed caught not once, but twice, wrapped throughout the wire. There was a deep gash on it's leg where it had tried to free itself from danger. I talked to the deer, patted it's head, brushed it's flank with my hand and reassured it I would do anything I could with the resources I had to get it out of it's mess.

I started to move it's leg out of the wire but it was so caught up in the wire it made it difficult to move without breaking the leg. It cried out in pain several times. I heard a huffing and puffing behind me and as I turned around I noticed a female deer standing across the road from me, making threatening motions with its' feet and sounds from it's mouth. They were all directed at me. She thought I was going to harm her young one. I worked on the wire and pulled the baby deer up and finally after a few minutes I was able to move the baby free. To my delight the 'Bambi' ran off into the field with a full gallop looking no worse for the wear. As soon as the baby took off the mother deer circled back across the road, leapt over the fence and sought out her offspring so as to comfort and take care of it. I was pleased.

What does this have to do with education? As teachers we have been given the role of "in loco parentis". We see great parents like the doe who stood her ground and protected her young one from what she perceived as a villain. We see great parents who like the doe who comfort and nourish their young when times are tough. On the other hand we see those who do neither and then we have to step in. As I have progressed in my 38 years of teaching I have seen many changes that I don't feel that comfortable with regarding parenting skills.

Parents are a part of the triumvirate that makes education click: student, parent, teacher. Each has an integral role in the process. Parenting is the toughest of all three. As I see it there are two things we do the most in life, but have the least experience and education for, loving someone and raising a child. We have trouble with both, especially the latter since we only have the role models of our own parents (and we know that those are often less than perfect) and a few 'expertly' written manuals on the subject. There is no course in school that helps us be a good parent that is required by law. Perhaps there should be. So from the beginning parents are behind the proverbial '8-ball' and have to a lot of catching up on their own lack of learning on the subject and tend to do an abundance of 'trial and error' learning as they fly by the seat of their pants. No wonder we have so many issues with parenting as educators.

In the next few blogs I would like to address different aspects of parenting. Please feel free to share your experinces with parenting from the viewpoint of either educator, student or parent.

Just Retired

I just retired from teaching after 38 years. I've seen it all. Not only did I teach 28 of those years in the United States but also 10 years in Canada. I taught 14 years in high schools and 24 years in middle schools. I have taught lower level(special education and learning lab) classes and worked the last 11 years as a gifted and talented specialist. I have designed new courses and developed numbers of curricula ideas. I coached in both countries for awhile and have worked as a consultant. I also have traveled Europe for 38 years and have studied education systems in many other countries.

I think this qualifies me to write this blog. I see so much good in the school system but I also have seen so much 'wrong'. I would like to get other educators, parents and students' ideas on what they think is RIGHT and also what they see as WRONG with education today. This is why I entitled this blog "If I Ran the Schools". Hasn't everyone wanted to do that some day.I feel I could address, with your help, topics such as: respect, dumbing down, discipline, unfit parenting,
parent involvement, reinventing the wheel, differentiation, teacher training, money, waste etc. There is so much to address here.

Over the next while we will address these topics. No school system can 'get back' at me or at you. Write in with your ideas and suggestions for topics to be covered. It will be an open forum and you can remain anonymous if you so desire.