Parenting Part Two:

This past week I attended my grandson's third birthday. I did it not just to honor him but also to honor my daughter, whom I dearly love. We got in the car and drove five hours to get there. In fact, in two weeks from now my wife and I are going to make a drastic lifestyle change and move all our household goods, our animals, and ourselves to a new home near my daughter and my grandson. Some may say this is a great sacrifice but I look at it as another stage in the parenting process. We wish to spend our last years near this important part of our family.

As an educator I often did not witness firsthand the sacrifice that good parents made. I knew they were there, but I did not always see them. Many a parent gives up a big part of their life to make money so that their children can have more things. Sometimes they buy it when they don't have the money. That is bad parenting because down the line there will be payback. I think we are in a 'NOW' society where young people want immediacy. What I mean by this is they see so much on TV that others have and they just want more. That kind of thinking got America in the trouble we are in now. It's hard to say 'no' to your children but if you want to be a good parent then you have to sit them down and explain to them that there is only so much money and the realities and follies of credit buying and debt.

There is also a difference in sacrificing so that your children can have material things and sacrificing so that the family can be 'more together, and the children can get more learning experiences. Let me give you an example. Is an 'I-phone' a true learning experience? Is a PSP anything more than a glorified baby sitter? But is a day a the zoo, or at a musuem a more valuable learning experience. I say "YES"! Is sending them to Six Flags a better learning experience than going on a family vacation where they see different parts of the state, or the country or if you have the time and money, the world. I say "NO"!

How do we get parents to make those changes? I know that many of my Gifted children I taught went to the zoo, museums, family trips etc. when they were younger and that contributed to their giftedness. This parental nurturing versus the nature of a mindset of 'give them everything' will take a drastic mindset change. I think schools should have 'mandatory' inservices for parents on this subject. There should be fairs set up where zoos, museums etc. are brought in to educate the parents on these opportunities where the parents' money is well spent. Especially in this day when field trips are a no-no except for special programs, then bring the field trips to the school. The return the school would get back from such a partnership would be multi-faceted. The enhancement of learning for all intelligence groups would be highly beneficial to not only the student but also for the educator and the district. I guarantee that the 'dreaded' test scores will improve. Parents, this approach will save you money and at the same time also strengthen the bond between you and your child.

At the same time as parents need to make a mindset change so do their children. Their values have to take an about face. Many a time I've seen a child who has 'free lunch' come to school with a brand new pair of $100 plus Nikes. Often it is because the child has demanded it. Your parents aren't goldmines and you do not have the right to have an ATM card on you from the 'Bank of Parent'. Earn your money. I'm speaking from experience when I implore you to learn the value of money, get a part time job, open your own bank account and be accountable to yourself for those extras. The best thing my mother did for me was when I got my first job at age ten, she took me down to the bank and we opened an account. She told me to spend a portion of it and save the rest. What a lifetime learning experience. Don't drain your parents. Contribute. It will highly beneficial when you get to be a parent yourself.